Become a Better Listener: Active Listening

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Most people go through their daily lives engaging in many conversations with friends, co-workers, and our family members. But most of the time, we don’t listen as well as we could or sometimes should. We’re often distracted by other things in the environment, such as the television, the Internet, our cell phones, or something else. We think we’re listening to the other person, but we’re really not giving them our full attention.
Enter a skill called “active listening.” Active listening is all about building rapport, understanding, and trust. By learning the skills below, you will become a better listener and actually hear what the other person is saying, not just want you think they are saying or what you want to hear. While therapists are often made fun of for engaging in active listening, it is a proven technique that helps people talk and feel free to continue talking even if the person they are talking to doesn’t have a lot to offer the other person (other than their ear).

Are you as good a listener as you think you are?

 

13 Steps to Better Active Listening Skills

Below you will find 13 different skills that help people be better active listeners. You do not have to become adept at each of these skills to be a good active listener, but the more you do, the better you’ll be. If you even just use 3 or 4 of these skills, you will find yourself listening and hearing more of what another person is saying to you.

1. Restating

To show you are listening, repeat every so often what you think the person said — not by parroting, but by paraphrasing what you heard in your own words. For example, “Let’s see if I’m clear about this. . .”

Change Your Life Forever

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I am sometimes amazed that Lisa Diane can take what seems so simple and make us understand how we can drastically change our lives by doing that one simple thing. Read on and “Change Your Life Forever”.

I saw this sign today…

“Objects in the mirror may appear closer than they actually are…”

As soon as I read it, it was like one of those “a-ha” moments… like finding a secret hidden message in plain sight.

Jan 30 Accentuate the POSITIVE….Eliminate the NEGATIVE!

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In a hit song from 1944 made popular by Bing Crosby, the Johnny Mercer lyrics told us to….

“Accentuate the positive
Eliminate the negative
Latch on to the affirmative
Don’t mess with Mister In-Between”

There is nothing more dangerous or destructive than a life of NEGATIVE thinking.

Negative attitudes and remarks are the first sign of a “toxic” person. When you meet someone who always has an opinion, who continually makes excuses, finds fault, places blame and almost rejoices in telling you all the reasons why something ‘won’t work’–you should avoid these people like the plague.

There is nothing ‘realistic’ or ‘noble’ about being negative. These folks will try to convince you that they’re just ‘realists’ ….they help you keep your feet on the ground and your head out of the clouds. Don’t believe them. In fact, take a good hard look at them. What kind of lives are they living? Do they have great relationships? Are they healthy? Do they smile and live with a sense of joy and enthusiasm? I can answer that for you….NO!

Whatever you do, do not allow these ‘DREAM SQUASHERS’ –toxic negative people–to influence your life.

Your Miracle Moments are Waiting for You Now!

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There’s a simple story in the Bible that best illustrates what a Miracle Moment really is.

Peter asked Jesus to allow him to step out of the boat and join him by walking on the water.

THAT WAS A MIRACLE MOMENT.

In those few short moments, Peter taught us a lesson that holds within it the SECRET toall success in life.

Let’s look at what happened.

Peter saw Jesus standing out on the lake. He thought it was totally cool that Jesus could do that and he wanted to do it, too. (He KNEW what he wanted!)

I imagine that in the few moments preceding his request to Jesus, that Peter envisioned himself walking across the lake. He could see himself standing out there next to Jesus–defying all sense of reality or what was “possible”. (He created a VISION in his mind.)

When he asked Jesus to call him over there, he was making a bold statement of FAITH. He believed it was possible.

At the same time I imagine that the other guys in the boat with Peter had a few remarks to make of their own (even if they were made quietly). Peter chose to ignore the NEGATIVE and envision the positive outcome.

So what happened? Peter stepped out of the boat, started walking on the water and within a short time, sank.

What You Think About You Bring About

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You must guard your mind from negative thoughts and emotions.You are in control of your thoughts. You can put a stop to a negative thought the moment it enters your mind. Is this easy? No, but it is absolutely critical to your ultimate success.

One effective tool for you to use is to REPLACE worry with a positive vision. Worry brings fear, nervousness and frustration. It distracts us and keeps us from operating at our optimum level.

Worry stems from FEAR. And in 90% of all cases, FEAR is negative. Yes, there are times when fear can be healthy–like choosing not to walk too close to the edge of a cliff. But for the most part, FEAR is nothing more than FALSE EVIDENCE APPEARING REAL (F.E.A.R).

The problem with allowing your mind to obsess and worry over something you fear is that by doing so you can actually manifest the very thing you fear into your reality. Remember, our subconscious mind works hard to bring about the thoughts we focus on the most.

So here’s the plan: when you start to worry over something, instead of doing what most people do and imagining the worst possible scenario as being inevitable, begin to imagine that BEST possible outcome you can think of. Instead of obsessing over “what could or might” happen that is bad, begin to vividly imagine that what WILL happen is a good and positive outcome. If you’ll do this, I guarantee that you’ll begin to see GOOD things happen and you’ll eliminate the bad.

 

I REFUSE to be DEFEATED!

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IT’S JUST NOT FAIR! If you have children, you hear this phrase often. To tell you the truth, that’s how I feel about some situations also. Things happen to all of us that are challenging – sickness, loss of a job, family problems, divorce, unfair treatment at work…

We all face problems of one kind or another and often “it’s just not fair“!!

The next step is up to you! Are you going to dwell on the negative and the “poor me” syndrome? Are you going to waste your time and energy in thoughts and words that just keep you upset and don’t solve the problem? I was faced with a problem recently that upset me. I thought about the problem, lost sleep that night and woke up with a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. My mind was active all the next morning replaying the same words over and over. I finally had to stop myself because I was not making the situation any better and only further destroying my peace of mind.

New Year’s Resolutions You CAN KEEP All Year!

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Raise your hands if you have made New Year’s Resolutions and did not succeeded in keeping them longer than a month!! A week…a day? Why is that? We have good intentions and usually our resolutions would create better lives for us.

Often we create expectations we couldn’t possibly keep….like these:
**‘I am going to lose 75 pounds this year.’
**‘I will work out 2 hours a day.’
**‘I am going to eat healthy—no more sweets for me!’

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

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Why is this such a critical question? Because you can’t have what you want if
you don’t know what you want.

what-do-you-wantMost people don’t have a clue. The best they can do is say what they don’t want… what they’re “sick and tired” of… but not what they crave. Kids can tell you all day long. Just ask…or don’t ask… they’ll tell you anyway. 😉

But adults, that’s a whole other story. Tragic really. It’s like a line of starving people at an “all you can eat” buffet. Anything and everything you could ever want is available to you in unlimited, inexhaustible supply yet most people live like there’s never enough of anything.

So how about you? What do you want… REALLY want? Do you know?

Open Your Gift!

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gift

Don’t you just love to see all the beautifully wrapped presents under the Christmas tree? Or how about the ones you receive for your birthday? Some people are masters at creating the most beautiful packages, aren’t they? When you see a gift, beautifully wrapped and decorated, does it benefit you? As long as it is sitting on a table or under the Christmas tree, you can’t derive any benefits or pleasure from it…other than maybe appreciating the wrappings.

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