Become a Better Listener: Active Listening

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Most people go through their daily lives engaging in many conversations with friends, co-workers, and our family members. But most of the time, we don’t listen as well as we could or sometimes should. We’re often distracted by other things in the environment, such as the television, the Internet, our cell phones, or something else. We think we’re listening to the other person, but we’re really not giving them our full attention.
Enter a skill called “active listening.” Active listening is all about building rapport, understanding, and trust. By learning the skills below, you will become a better listener and actually hear what the other person is saying, not just want you think they are saying or what you want to hear. While therapists are often made fun of for engaging in active listening, it is a proven technique that helps people talk and feel free to continue talking even if the person they are talking to doesn’t have a lot to offer the other person (other than their ear).

Are you as good a listener as you think you are?

 

13 Steps to Better Active Listening Skills

Below you will find 13 different skills that help people be better active listeners. You do not have to become adept at each of these skills to be a good active listener, but the more you do, the better you’ll be. If you even just use 3 or 4 of these skills, you will find yourself listening and hearing more of what another person is saying to you.

1. Restating

To show you are listening, repeat every so often what you think the person said — not by parroting, but by paraphrasing what you heard in your own words. For example, “Let’s see if I’m clear about this. . .”

The Wisdom of Abraham Lincoln

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The wisdom of Abraham Lincoln should never be overlooked. When anyone asks me who I admire most, my answer is always Lincoln. What a man born to a destiny and a time!

“And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the LIFE in your years”

This quote speaks to us about living our years with the BEST HEALTH possible.

I was having a discussion with a friend just today about who knows best what to give our bodies–the doctor who we see twice a year and who knows us by a name in a folder–or US–who live in our bodies everyday and know what it needs.

Sometimes I balk at taking my supplements in the morning–a regime I’ve been doing for 30 years now. And every once in awhile I review the list again–to see if there’s any I’m willing to part with. I always come up with the same answer–NO WAY! I intend on living a healthy fulfilled life so which one of these body enhancing supplements am I willing to stop?

Jan 30 Accentuate the POSITIVE….Eliminate the NEGATIVE!

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In a hit song from 1944 made popular by Bing Crosby, the Johnny Mercer lyrics told us to….

“Accentuate the positive
Eliminate the negative
Latch on to the affirmative
Don’t mess with Mister In-Between”

There is nothing more dangerous or destructive than a life of NEGATIVE thinking.

Negative attitudes and remarks are the first sign of a “toxic” person. When you meet someone who always has an opinion, who continually makes excuses, finds fault, places blame and almost rejoices in telling you all the reasons why something ‘won’t work’–you should avoid these people like the plague.

There is nothing ‘realistic’ or ‘noble’ about being negative. These folks will try to convince you that they’re just ‘realists’ ….they help you keep your feet on the ground and your head out of the clouds. Don’t believe them. In fact, take a good hard look at them. What kind of lives are they living? Do they have great relationships? Are they healthy? Do they smile and live with a sense of joy and enthusiasm? I can answer that for you….NO!

Whatever you do, do not allow these ‘DREAM SQUASHERS’ –toxic negative people–to influence your life.

Your Miracle Moments are Waiting for You Now!

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There’s a simple story in the Bible that best illustrates what a Miracle Moment really is.

Peter asked Jesus to allow him to step out of the boat and join him by walking on the water.

THAT WAS A MIRACLE MOMENT.

In those few short moments, Peter taught us a lesson that holds within it the SECRET toall success in life.

Let’s look at what happened.

Peter saw Jesus standing out on the lake. He thought it was totally cool that Jesus could do that and he wanted to do it, too. (He KNEW what he wanted!)

I imagine that in the few moments preceding his request to Jesus, that Peter envisioned himself walking across the lake. He could see himself standing out there next to Jesus–defying all sense of reality or what was “possible”. (He created a VISION in his mind.)

When he asked Jesus to call him over there, he was making a bold statement of FAITH. He believed it was possible.

At the same time I imagine that the other guys in the boat with Peter had a few remarks to make of their own (even if they were made quietly). Peter chose to ignore the NEGATIVE and envision the positive outcome.

So what happened? Peter stepped out of the boat, started walking on the water and within a short time, sank.

What You Think About You Bring About

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You must guard your mind from negative thoughts and emotions.You are in control of your thoughts. You can put a stop to a negative thought the moment it enters your mind. Is this easy? No, but it is absolutely critical to your ultimate success.

One effective tool for you to use is to REPLACE worry with a positive vision. Worry brings fear, nervousness and frustration. It distracts us and keeps us from operating at our optimum level.

Worry stems from FEAR. And in 90% of all cases, FEAR is negative. Yes, there are times when fear can be healthy–like choosing not to walk too close to the edge of a cliff. But for the most part, FEAR is nothing more than FALSE EVIDENCE APPEARING REAL (F.E.A.R).

The problem with allowing your mind to obsess and worry over something you fear is that by doing so you can actually manifest the very thing you fear into your reality. Remember, our subconscious mind works hard to bring about the thoughts we focus on the most.

So here’s the plan: when you start to worry over something, instead of doing what most people do and imagining the worst possible scenario as being inevitable, begin to imagine that BEST possible outcome you can think of. Instead of obsessing over “what could or might” happen that is bad, begin to vividly imagine that what WILL happen is a good and positive outcome. If you’ll do this, I guarantee that you’ll begin to see GOOD things happen and you’ll eliminate the bad.

 

How to Bloom Where You Are Planted

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We can’t always choose the cards we have been dealt, but we can learn to play them. Like a flower that grows through a crack in the concrete, sometimes we have to make the best of our situations and bloom where we have been planted.

You may not be where you want to be in life just yet. You may be working a day job that is not your passion and working on your dream through the night.

Keeping our dreams alive is what uplifts the human spirit. But how can we deal with the fact that sometimes we may have to tolerate something that we do not like to eventually get to where we want to be?

Not everyone can quit their jobs and follow a dream. Sometimes our dreams take time. So instead of getting bitter and upset at your situation, why not try blooming where you have been planted?

Here is how I think we can do that and why it makes a difference:

1) Every step in life prepares you for the next one

You may not realize it, but where you are now is providing you with vital life lessons for your next adventure.

When late producer, director, author and screenwriter Michael Crichton was interviewed about how his training as a physician helped him to be a writer, he said this:

 

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